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72 Virgins: A Thought Experiment


By jahandost
Posted on Mon Feb 19, 2007 at 08:44:36 PM EST
Tags: heaven, hell, 72 virgins, thought experiment, mullahs (all tags)

Some called the new invention Descartes' evil daemon, others called it Satan's workshop. Then there were those who thought that this was the greatest invention of all time although even its inventors were not quite sure about how it worked. Regardless of whatever people thought about the invention, it was the talk of the town for it allowed one to experience a world of virtual reality distilled from the unconsciouses of a community or many communities that one had come across in one's life. It was called the Neural-calibrator or neuro-cal for short. Most people in the world had not used it but those who had used it found it disturbing to put it mildly. Dr. Akbar Baihisab was perhaps the only person of Muslim background who was associated with the this invention but he had never tried it until that fateful night. Most of the people had left early that day, Christmas was approaching so people were getting busy in other activities. Around midnight Akbar saw the opportunity and went into the control room. After calibrating the neuro-cal he plugged in the wire coming from it to the brain-computer interface at the back of his head and sat down on a chair to experience what happens. Nothing happened for a minute or two and then all of a sudden he sensed that something was terribly wrong because instead of seeing visions he felt powerless and weary, his vital stats began to drop. He could see his head bleeding but strangely did not feel any pain. The end was nigh and the whole world grew dark. When Akbar opened his eyes he saw himself in a large, lavish and brightly lit room sleeping on the most comfortable bed imaginable. "Could this be afterlife?" he wondered.

He rose and noticed for the first time that he was attired in extravagant clothing. "This must be it? May be I should ask someone if someone is here." He said to himself and took a few steps when he saw a silhouette of a person from a distance. He approached the person, it was woman and not just any woman but the most beautiful woman that he had ever seen. She was well built, smelled like rose and seductively attired i.e., scantly clad. He asked her where he was and she replied, "You are in heaven, master." She came closer and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Where are the others?" He inquired, to which she replied, "All of us are here for your pleasure master." And the next instant a whole group of women was visible on the other side of the wall, one more beautiful than the other. He was somewhat taken aback but further inquired, "I mean other people from Earth." "Aren't you Glad that you have us. How shall I please thee today?" she replied. He was almost speechless and as she proceeded to give him a hug, he told her to stay back and she obliged to his command. He felt disoriented. He remembered hearing about such visions of heaven from the time when he was a teenager and people in his mosque still talked about visions of heaven in such explicit details and now that he was actually in heaven he felt as if something is not right. He proceeded to the hallway he came across the group of women that he had seen through the wall, scattered here and there. They were similarly attired in came in all colors and hues. He inquired about other people but they never really answered his question and so a seductive smile was usually their answer; then he asked one of them, "How many of you are there?" and she replied. "72 of course master. All virgins!"

Many days passed, he tried to make conversation with these women but it seemed that it was not possible to have a conversation with them since they could not answer most of his questions and just smiled like Barbie dolls when they did not have an answer. All that the women did was to be in their stations all day long and would be ready for any types of physical intimacy that he desired but he was not really interested in that so he never asked anyone. There were lush gardens and wonderful creatures but it did not feel right. He longed for closeness with God. He forbade all the virgins to come near him and spent most of his time in one of the rooms contemplating the meaning of life and the rewards and blessings that God had given him while he was alive. He repented until one night he realized what he had done wrong in his life. That night he prayed and asked Allah for forgiveness, he made a promise to himself that he will stop worshiping houris, heaven, his Sheikhs etc and start worshiping Allah - the most Gracious, the most Merciful. For the first time in many weeks he fell asleep.

"Akbar, can you hear us?" He hared someone calling his name. "Where am I?" He asked. You are in the neuro-cal room. "How long has it been, how long was I out?" He seemed somewhat confused. Then someone replied, "What do u mean, I am guessing that you plugged yourself into the machine right around midnight, so it must have been just five hours I suppose."

-------------------------------------------------------------- 

“the mullah’s Paradise is eating and sleeping and singing,
the lover’s Paradise is the contemplation of Being.”

- Muhammad Iqbal in Javed Nama

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Tags: heaven, hell, 72 virgins, thought experiment, mullahs (all tags)
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oh yes!(none / 0) (#1)
by Ali Eteraz on Mon Feb 19, 2007 at 10:50:09 PM EST

this kicks ass.

im hotlisting this. 





btw(none / 0) (#2)
by Ali Eteraz on Mon Feb 19, 2007 at 10:52:09 PM EST

ghalib stated about the promise of the hoor

"that hoor will be an insufferable pain in the neck; the same woman for all eternity"

lol

better to believe in a paradise spiritual 



and(none / 0) (#4)
by jahandost on Mon Feb 19, 2007 at 11:11:18 PM EST

Thanks. Well, you asked for writers so here we are. Next up, "The Future of Hijab."

Both Ghalib and Iqbal were intelligent people. There are ignorant Mullahs in South Asia who go into explicit details about the houris but the sad thing is that some supposedly educated people also indulge in such stuff.



[ Parent ]
i have a recitation...(none / 0) (#5)
by Maleeha on Mon Feb 19, 2007 at 11:14:46 PM EST
...of Surah Rehman where you can hear the audience exclaim "Allah" louder and louder in every ayat describing the hoors. It never fails to crack me up.

[ Parent ]
yes(none / 0) (#6)
by jahandost on Mon Feb 19, 2007 at 11:18:50 PM EST
Maleeha, sister its particularly irritating when the moulana does his exegesis and describes the houris in details on a loud speakers. For God's sake there are sisters in the audience who are listening to this stuff. Whatever happened to manner!

[ Parent ]
its...(none / 0) (#7)
by Maleeha on Mon Feb 19, 2007 at 11:20:56 PM EST
...pathetic sexual frustration. laughable, really.

[ Parent ]
I don't get it(none / 0) (#9)
by AnonyMouse on Tue Feb 20, 2007 at 08:58:07 AM EST

Like, of allllllllll the things that we can get in Jannah - being in the company of the Prophets, being able to actually see Allah!!!! - why are so many people so fixated on the Hoor al-'Ayn? When describing Jannah, why do so many people spend time swooning over them and describing them in detail, rather than thinking about 'gardens beneath which rivers flow', the river of al-Kawthar, the silk pavilions, being free of all enmity, etc. etc.?

Oh, and speaking the Hoor al-'Ayn, I heard in a lecture by... Yasir Ibrahim, I think it was (but not sure), that the Muslim women will be queens of their husbands in Jannah, and will be 70 times more beautiful than the Hoor al-'Ayn. Which renders the Hoor obsolete, no?


Musings of a Muslim Mousehttp://www.muslimmouse.blogspot.com
[ Parent ]
i really(none / 0) (#10)
by Maleeha on Tue Feb 20, 2007 at 09:12:01 AM EST
would like to know what awaits women in jannah and why thats never emphasized.

[ Parent ]
OMG(none / 0) (#12)
by jahandost on Tue Feb 20, 2007 at 09:59:30 AM EST
That is a good question and sister, O my God it gave me an idea for another story!

[ Parent ]


From what I know(none / 0) (#13)
by AnonyMouse on Tue Feb 20, 2007 at 09:59:42 AM EST

The explanation is apparently that men needed more encouragement, hence descriptions of the Hoor al-'Ayn, whereas the women were content with Allah's promises.

But the rest of the stuff is pretty much the same - gardens, palaces, being near to the Prophets, being able to see Allah, precious things (cups of gold, jewelled trees, etc.) and whatever else our hearts desire. I think 'whatever our hearts desire' pretty much covers everything, no?


Musings of a Muslim Mousehttp://www.muslimmouse.blogspot.com
[ Parent ]
isnt it(none / 0) (#15)
by Maleeha on Tue Feb 20, 2007 at 11:15:50 AM EST
insulting to men to say they are only inspired by the promise of getting some? shouldnt we expect more from them? 

[ Parent ]
Maybe(none / 0) (#16)
by AnonyMouse on Tue Feb 20, 2007 at 11:17:05 AM EST
But the truth is sometimes cruel... :P
Musings of a Muslim Mousehttp://www.muslimmouse.blogspot.com
[ Parent ]
more(none / 0) (#17)
by jahandost on Tue Feb 20, 2007 at 12:19:52 PM EST
I wonder how would the world look like if this were not the case? OMG, another idea for a story!

[ Parent ]
More(none / 0) (#18)
by kitkat on Tue Feb 20, 2007 at 12:56:35 PM EST
You mean if the truth were never cruel or if men truly had nothing more inspireable about them by the thought of getting some than women?

[ Parent ]
inspiration(none / 0) (#19)
by Ali Eteraz on Tue Feb 20, 2007 at 01:01:02 PM EST

lets not go so far that we men are not able to look at women and be inspired

it is a majority of my motivation in art 



[ Parent ]
being sarcastic(none / 0) (#20)
by jahandost on Tue Feb 20, 2007 at 01:52:33 PM EST
kitkat, I was being sarcastic. Plus I think we can trust Ali on this one.

[ Parent ]
i was hoping(none / 0) (#24)
by Maleeha on Tue Feb 20, 2007 at 02:45:40 PM EST
you were serious. i would love to read that story :)

[ Parent ]




nah(none / 0) (#21)
by Maleeha on Tue Feb 20, 2007 at 02:31:40 PM EST
i wouldnt place the burdensome expectation on the shoulders of my brothers fil Islam to not be inspired by women. thats too much to ask. but is it too much to ask to not focus on it so much such that heaven = finally getting some? i think not.

[ Parent ]


Perish the thought!(none / 0) (#22)
by kitkat on Tue Feb 20, 2007 at 02:41:19 PM EST

I did not mean to ask him if he meant writing about men who weren't inspired at all by the thought of getting some--only men who weren't inspired by that alone (or maybe men who weren't any inspired by the thought of getting some any more often than women are).

Your artwork is safe.

(Hey, speaking of art, men, & women, where'd LoA go?) 



[ Parent ]
i c(none / 0) (#27)
by jahandost on Tue Feb 20, 2007 at 03:01:51 PM EST
I was going to write about both types of men. My next story however is going to be about The FUTURE of hijab. (Yes, I am fascinated by the power of technology to transform religious practices and vice versa.)

[ Parent ]
















Here we go!(none / 0) (#14)
by AnonyMouse on Tue Feb 20, 2007 at 10:03:13 AM EST
This should answer the question! (BTW, if you Google it you'll find loads of similar questions and answers)
Musings of a Muslim Mousehttp://www.muslimmouse.blogspot.com
[ Parent ]




on jannah(none / 0) (#11)
by jahandost on Tue Feb 20, 2007 at 09:56:55 AM EST

As the sister just said, it seems that these people are just frustrated.

Regarding the point about being in the company of prophet (pbut) and especially the last prophet (pbuh) shouldn't that be  one of the most important aspects if we are claiming to be their followers and given that none of us have met them in person.

On being 70 times better It sure does render the Houris obsolete. Plus as Ali Eteraz once put it, the houis did not have to go through the hardships of life like the Muslimas in this world. In this respect the houris look more like plastic Barbies.



[ Parent ]














so interesting(none / 0) (#3)
by Maleeha on Mon Feb 19, 2007 at 11:07:11 PM EST
i saw heaven in a dream once. the ground was rubbery and fluid and green. there were figures in white robes in my peripheral vision. i was happy and lonely at the same time.

re(none / 0) (#8)
by jahandost on Tue Feb 20, 2007 at 08:56:13 AM EST
Almost missed this comment, apart from the 'real' heaven there is this image of heaven that all of us carry in our minds, in other words we create heaven in our own image.

[ Parent ]
Her own image(none / 0) (#23)
by kitkat on Tue Feb 20, 2007 at 02:44:14 PM EST
Maleeha is rubbery, fluid, and green?

[ Parent ]
only(none / 0) (#25)
by Maleeha on Tue Feb 20, 2007 at 02:46:29 PM EST
when i have the flu.

[ Parent ]


but (none / 0) (#26)
by Maleeha on Tue Feb 20, 2007 at 02:53:09 PM EST

happy + lonely, all the time.

there is definetly some reality to having a private heaven and hell.



[ Parent ]









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